From Polished to Raw: My Halloween Story

backbw300In the Fall of 1998, I lost my job and I quit the band. It may have appeared to be the coolest life ever, and for a while, it really was. But one morning I awoke, and I found I couldn’t take one step further inside the four walls of the life that I had created. So I watched it all come tumbling down. This was my giving up. But not without first giving the Creator of All a piece of my mind – and just an inch away from suicide. It turns out later, I gave it all of my mind – the mind that had been programmed with falsities, about who I am, about who we all are. This Eileen died on Halloween. It was my fall from polished to raw.

“Even though I had to keep up an occasional positive face to friends and family in the outer world, mostly I kept myself secluded away from everyone. I have memory glimpses of modernpeasantsbeing completely out of my mind – distraught with weeping on the kitchen floor, the bedroom floor, in the shower (when I had the available energy), and in my car. I would drive to the store, the mountains, and the beach to numbly sit and stare. But mostly, I drove myself into oblivion. One day, not long after weeks of these epic fits of rage, I woke up and felt very different.” Chap 5. Koyopa Contact Within, by Eileen Meyer

This was when the bioenergetic event occurred. They name it Kundalini in Sanskrit, and Koyopa in K’iche Maya. Names don’t matter. It’s what set me on a new course. When the music started pouring through these new openings, I did my best to capture them, and care for them. I didn’t consider myself a songwriter, but this innocent beauty was falling into me. I simply caught these words and sounds, as one would instinctively reach out to catch a whole nest of baby birds, accidentally tumbling from their home above.

At the time, I was finishing up my third year of energy healing school in San Diego, CA. By graduation in Spring of 1999, my plans to practice energy healing with my hands and heart had changed completely. Well, not completely. This Divine Presence that had met me inside every cell of my body, and transformed me, was suggesting that I now add my voice to the mix. I had to relearn how to play the piano, as it had once been a childhood mediocre skill at best. My knee-jerk reaction to all of this was simply to provide a new nest for one of these first little fallen birds. After all, it was only a few weeks earlier I had angrily pronounced my resignation from music forever.

For my graduation presentation, the Director of the School of Enlightenment and Healing (name at the time) encouraged me to sing these songs to my fellow graduates. Even though I’d been a rock and roll singer fronting bands for years, the thought of this was utterly terrifying to me. Who or what would be performing now? I found myself with no mask to cover over the uncool or undefined me; that floating essence with no name, rank, story, or file. Now that it felt restored, I knew that this Field of Presence within me had no interest in ever being suppressed again. So in spite of it being one of the scariest moments of my life, I did it. You know, the angels had always said, don’t run from the fear, meet it.

When the mind-blowing synchronicities later manifested an amazing producer and now lifelong friend, the song was reduced to the usual 3 to 4-minute formula. Below is the professionally-produced end result, recorded just a few months later that year in Solana Beach, CA.  And below that is the well-hidden video of me singing the song, All of Creation, not long after I’d caught that “baby bird.” It’s terribly imperfect, due to the absolute panic of exposing these deeper aspects of myself, and because I’d only been playing the keys for a few months. This is the opposite of the cool, perfectionist, rocker chick who died on Halloween of the previous year.

The moral of the story? Find and reveal who you truly are. In these times, the false stories of who we thought we were may come to a screeching halt – with or without our egoic consent. Truth is being restored. From my view today, I find it far more terrifying to slip back into those old identities again, with all the temporary masks and costumes that kept my soul at bay. I say, embrace the Great Unknown. Be raw. Be real. Be you.

Here is the end result. Reduced to 4:11 mins. Produced by Larry Mitchell.


And here is me being exposed, vulnerable, facing my fears, raw. This is the original 6-min version of how it landed into me.


Eileen is an author, mystic, songstress, and a work-in-progress. After a lifetime of numinous experiences, she receives guiding messages for our evolution in consciousness and is here to help others remember this inner cosmic doorway too. She has been an invited speaker and facilitator on the topics of evolving consciousness and the deeper meaning of extraterrestrial, or interdimensional contact.


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Sing the Song of your Birth Light


The essence of you is pure music. Your body and feelings are like an instrument. We are either consciously engaged with the song of our soul, harmonically entrained to our Universal Birth Light, or we are in an unconscious, auto-repeat broadcast of the “popular” or consensus songs that we think we must sing in order to experience a sense of belonging here. Whether you consciously recall or not, you belong to a universal symphony.

For decades I was one who spent the entirety of my lifeforce energy on the impossible task of fitting in here. Inevitably, I lost myself in this virtual reality for a time. It seems most of us did. Thankfully, as an experiencer, I had help in not falling too far into this strange upside-down world.

From my earliest memories, I was very much connected to nonhuman intelligence – angels or ETs, if you will. They spoke or sang through light and sound, which were the carriers of what felt like an infinite source of data. When I attune to it, this communion continues to activate inside my cells. It is my natural state. It is our natural state. I’m just here to remind you.

When we are young, these interdimensional angels play the universal symphony of who we are on a consistent basis. That is, until our honesty and innocence, our original sound system, our true voice, is silenced. Strange as it sounds, when I reached a certain age my religious mother deemed my talk of angels to be inappropriate fantasy. She wanted me to recite what others heard the angels say, those who lived long ago and were therefore deemed to be far more connected than I. Eventually, for most of us, our blissful innocence and natural song became suppressed. Looking at my life in retrospect, I see that my whole way of being morphed into a constant apology for being disobedient and incapable of playing along with the given songs. These were the songs that we were taught to sing from all those who may have been our family, but had similarly lost their ability to perceive the greater over-tonal spectrum.

In hindsight, I see that this early rejection of our true essence and Divine currency is what initiates the endless search for acceptable music and narratives. These are the ones that we entrain-to so that we may establish and perpetuate a greatly-reduced sense of value and identity in this realm. This is our disconnected egoic state that becomes our context for purpose and meaning within the limited repertoire of this reality. At this stage, most of us can’t even remember when that dial got switched over and we adapted to the shallow breathing that obediently hums along with what is broadcast here. We were too busy pretending that we loved it, whilst forgetting that there was anything else. If we still felt empty, we were pointed to the old religious books and churches, and the modern recitations from people whom I noticed were far better at dismissing their direct Birth Light than I.

Don’t get me wrong. For years I wanted to be like them. I begged the angels to reduce my Birth Light too. The pain that comes from the awareness of a Greater Song, while living with those who say we’re crazy because we can see, hear, and feel these heavenly strains… well, it takes great faith to continue on, and to have the courage to be and share who we truly are.

When we actually hear the honesty in the songs of others, it begins to vibrate or re-infuse us with the distant memories of our own original song. Depending on our individual intentions, it will either trigger the blankets of fear that have kept these pure tones under wraps, or it will initiate the re-awakening of the Universal Sound of Truth within us. For many of us, it is both.

It’s why I’ve been willing to sing out now, and I celebrate others who have found their original frequency too. But understand at this particular timing, even if we do unearth and reveal our deepest original songs, don’t always expect that the world will hear it right away, let alone validate it. Humanity’s finer senses have been quite dulled over the centuries, especially since we started aligning with the broadcast of preapproved or programmed setlists of limited concepts and ideas.

We are taught to fear the unknown, yet the Unknown Infinite is where our music is continuously broadcast – all ways and eternally. I often say to clients and groups, “Know thySelf. Know thy frequency,” and practice fearlessness in broadcasting it to the world. When we remember how to re-resonate with our true, Universal Soul and Self, and uniquely broadcast it through our bodies, our will, and our hearts, we will rejoin the symphony, and transform this world in an instant.

“You have placed yourselves in a position where for a time you have believed that you have no ability to change, or transform, or own the song, the tune, the melody that you are.  In fact, you have placed yourselves in a position where you allow others to define your tune.  You allow others to create your experience of song and melody… It’s time to allow the music to be played through you now, from the greater part of your being.”
Sound of Gold Files: Overtones122505

“Live With It,” written and performed by Eileen Meyer

Eileen is facilitating healing groups and passing along present-moment tools in Southern Colorado this month (September). Visit her Events Page for more info.

EM58headshotEileen is an author, mystic, songstress, and a work-in-progress. After many numinous experiences, she receives guiding messages for our evolution in consciousness and is here to help others remember this inner cosmic doorway too. She has been an invited speaker and facilitator on the topics of evolving consciousness and the deeper meaning of extraterrestrial, or interdimensional contact.

You can support Eileen’s work by sharing this with others, or if you feel moved to help her with this project of spiritually-empowering digital content and events, you may consider making a donation via Paypal. Gratitude, and blessings to you on your own journey Home.

Still Waking Up Here


I’ve been feeling a lot of compassion for myself lately, as I reflect back on this life. From the mountaintop of my fifth decade of existence, I’m well past the fantasies of, “What if my spiritual gifts had actually been seen and encouraged as a child? What might’ve been?” I get it. I frightened people. And if they weren’t frightened, it was probably because they had a comfortable category for me, “She’s such an odd little one, isn’t she?”

I did my best. And even though there appeared to be no mold for me slip into, I’m still waking up here.

This brings me to a similar place of compassion and understanding for others who are different. Seems for one reason or another we didn’t make the cut – Team (conditioned) Human wasn’t for us. So we carved out a life for ourselves… oh hell, who am I kidding? I didn’t carve out anything here. I’ve survived all these years (barely) by the Grace of my Creator and the whole host of angels who’ve guided me. All I can say is, my spirit helpers must be receiving many honorable medals and awards for their dedicated service. It just couldn’t have been easy for them.

Throughout my life, every single time I started to feel the pull of the quick-sand conditioning, and begin to strategically outline a plan to fit in here, they would come and “shake” me awake again.

It worked. I still don’t fit. But thanks to them, my courage to be me has increased tenfold. It seems the world may be in need of our gifts now.

Rise up, odd little ones. Our gift is to break the mold… simply by being who we are.


One of the many songs for the collective that came from this Divinely Feminine Presence. She is determined to break through. And She is.

If the above link didn’t embed properly, click here.

What’ll You Do   

What have I become to you?
Just a passing thought to nowhere
Yet we both keep waking up
Waking up here
You seem to know right where you’re going
As long as I stay in your dreams
But things have changed, I’m on the scene
What’ll you do with me?

My presence disturbs
As well as procures
A different kind of love you see
You gotta decide
Do I help or hinder your life?

What’ll you do (the heart)
What’ll you do (the heart)
What’ll you do (the heart speaks)
What’ll you do with me?

A stranger arrives at your door
She says it’s ‘new and improved’
But it’s not for sale
And not for your convenient use
She says I’m here to tell the truth
I’m here to fell your plastic tree of life
Just let me water your roots, dead or alive
Makes no difference to me
Try on these new eyes for size
How ’bout a pair of ears to hear
Remember love?
Remember harmony? (echo)
Remember the heart… speaks

by Eileen Meyer

IMG_4983Eileen is a lifetime experiencer, mystic, and songstress. After many Oneness experiences, she receives guiding messages for our evolution in consciousness, and is here to help others remember this inner cosmic doorway too.

Eileen’s website
Eileen’s email
Soul Weaving Sessions and Support for Experiencers
Eileen Meyer Music on iTunes:
or Music on CDBaby
Eileen’s book on Amazon – Koyopa Contact Within: The Plumed Serpent Rises 
Koyopa: (n) lightning [Momos]; inner soul (receives supernatural messages)
from the Language of Mayan K’iche’
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You can support Eileen’s work by sharing this with others, or if you feel moved to help her with this project of spiritually-empowering digital content and events, you can become a member at:  Or you may consider making a donation via Paypal. Gratitude, and blessings to you on your own journey home.