Yes, I wrote and published this on my then-blog in 2006. And yes, this is about the Divine Feminine. And yes, I’ve been at this for a very long time. I’m posting it again because it popped into my consciousness upon awakening this morning, and I know why it did. It resonates with what I’ve been feeling lately… concerned for some folks who refer to themselves as spiritual or religious, who believe that this “special” identity provides an automatic safety zone with a free pass into the fairy-tale fantabulous planet awakening, saving, and ascension… or whatever the latest way of spin/brand/framing it is. The point is, people do believe strongly that because they follow the rules of their particular “club,” with the proper clothing, words, crystals and chants, that they are somehow on the fast track to the Nirvanic God place. Is it a sign of strength to be nice? And to be obedient to an interpreted doctrine and ideology? Is it truly wise to avoid making waves? I learned from visiting light beings that it’s far healthier to be honest and real, because it raises your vibration from “interpreted truth” to actual TRUTH. And you’ll want to be doing this, because when actual Love and Light hits your biology, and it will, you may be in for a real shocker. It will show you in feeling terms where you carry fear, and the actual distance between your frequency and the frequency of Universal or Divine Love. It’s the perfect litmus test. And in my life, I have met very few who would willingly stand in line to “take it.” But you should know that there are a growing number of us who have. One of the current ways we are labeling these sometimes bewildered folks is, experiencer. Most experiencers don’t recall a 3D willingness to stand in that line… but over time, we seem to be restoring a much larger contextual view. And all those little waves we’ve been too afraid to make? They’ve now become evolutionary waves, crashing onto the shores of our very own consciousness and world.
From Saturday, September 09, 2006
(for reference, around the time that the movie, “Little Miss Sunshine” was a huge hit.)
It occurred to me in my communion state this morning that my own definition of Love needed to be clarified. I write about it a lot, and I want to be sure that I am making myself as clear as possible. You may notice that I capitalize this word when I write of it in the grander sense. I’m talking so grand that it took me a lifetime to be able to embody it to the degree that I do. I couldn’t tell you where I’m at on the official Universal Scale of Embodied Love, but I know that I must be holding my own as they say. The tune I speak of isn’t just ‘nice’ or ‘sweet’… it seems to be more in the kick-ass, higher-octave range of Divine Mother Love.
Here is where I find that the biggest misconception occurs. When spiritual, new-age type people say, “Hey, let’s all just live together in peace, love and harmony,” the rational mind can come up with all kinds of reasons to reject that because the words can feel weak and ungrounded. I agree, it feels ungrounded much of the time I hear it too, and the term weakness is simply a translation from a feeling that something is missing, or not fully present and available. It’s true. Love must be grounded or embodied in order for that kind of kick-ass power to be directed into this world.
What does embodied Love feel like? Well from my vantage point today I can say that it is pure ecstasy, knowing wisdom, strength, compassion, and peace. But it didn’t always feel like that. Unless you have shouted out and begged for mercy because “it” (higher-frequency presence) is too much, I would venture to say that you have not yet been introduced to the frequencies of Love that I refer to when I say LOVE. It is not an experience that you want to invite unless you are truly committed to giving up all that you think and believe that you are, and trade it all in for a conscious connection with ALL THAT IS. But you must be advised, this kind of Love is here to destroy all that is NOT in alignment with Love, and will, if invited, completely transform you into – not the smaller, nicer version of “love” – but will assist you in transcending fear, and ultimately into having a drop-to-your-knees direct experience of LOVE. In other words, you might have a nice testimonial, or the intellectual capacity to deliver a brilliant speech about Love, but you’ll know right where you stand on the universal scale of embodied Love when one tiny little flicker of THIS is introduced into your physical, feeling body, when the Goddess Bomb is released from the base of your spine. Either you’ll run screaming and begging to be returned to the “comfortably numb” state, or you’ll muster up the courage to continue with what was introduced to me so many years ago. I called them “stretching exercises” – exercises that I guess I agreed to before this life ensued. Because that’s been the program folks – ever-so-slowly attuning to Love, Light, and Truth – not just in my thinking mind, but fully alive in my body, and the feeling-Present moment.
In the Present, I’m adapting to knowing what I need to know when I need to know it, which I have found frees one up to really KNOW – to feel and perceive the spaces in between all of the regurgitated words, phrases, and stories of the past. It’s where the power of Love lives. It’s where nature lives. It’s where SHE lives. It’s where the I AM lives.
Don’t worry, I’m not throwing away ALL the words. I love to write, and I love what others write too. I remember years ago when I stumbled upon a verse from Rilke’s “Duino Elegies.” I cannot tell you how relieved I was to find someone whom I could relate to when it comes to the terror of Love. Rilke… wow, a 19th-century experiencer.
Excerpt from Elegy 1
Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels’ hierarchies?
and even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart:
I would be consumed in that overwhelming existence.
For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror,
which we are still just able to endure,
and we are so awed because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
Every angel is terrifying.
And so I hold myself back and swallow the call-note of my dark sobbing.
Ah, whom can we ever turn to in our need?
Not angels, not humans, and already the knowing animals are aware
that we are not really at home in our interpreted world.
and further along in the poem…
Yes, the Spring-times needed you deeply. Many a star
must have been there for you so you might feel it. A wave
lifted towards you out of the past, or, as you walked
past an open window, a violin
gave of itself. All this was their mission.
But could you handle it? Were you not always,
still, distracted by expectation, as if all you experienced,
like a Beloved, came near to you?
(Where could you contain her,
with all the vast strange thoughts in you
going in and out, and often staying the night.)
Rainer Maria Rilke
Thank you Rilke. I eventually glued these words to my piano keyboard so that every time I sang out my melodies and words – even if the audience was convinced that I was singing about a boyfriend – I knew differently.
The stretching exercises still come, although they don’t fall so much under the header of unbearable. I am able to welcome it, trust it, and fall into the bliss of it more readily. Yet in the closing of the stretch, I am still taken to that dis-comfort zone of this far and no farther. While I do make myself available to this expanding Love – these days it seems to be more about the fearless practice of being IT in the world… between the stretchings. I smile when I think back about how I used to curse this lifelong program – obviously not in understanding of the transformation that was occurring for me. As difficult as it all was, I am now able to see it as having been a beautiful blessing. I have been informed by Love that this is my life’s work. After all of this training and stretching as a contactee of angels, ETs, and the Goddess at the base of my spine, I am able to help others transcend fear, and embody this kind of Love now. I have noticed though, there are only a few standing in line to accept this. Which means that a) everybody is already ONE with it, or b) quite possibly people are not excruciatingly uncomfortable enough with the way things are, and somehow, through sheer will, they’re still able to make this interpreted reality work. I happen to know that there are many of us here who can help when the masses are no longer able to make the unnatural, disconnected way of life work. It’s why we’ve had the strange lives we’ve had – to one day help you adapt to Love too.
LOVE is total ecstasy if it has a unified, welcoming consciousness and body to be present with. In a few year’s time, if you have not already lost your mind and your smaller human identity, and surrendered to the experience of the Larger YOU, this degree of Love will more than likely be terrifying. And until we embody at least some degree of this Love, we will keep on pretending that we are experiencing a successful, loving, peaceful, harmonious way of life in what Rilke referred to as, the “interpreted world.” If we can’t embody IT, than how on Earth can we direct it, or create with it, or be given the responsibility to do so?
I see it. I feel it. I know it… we are all going to be stretched to receive more. Ready or not.
Let’s give PEACE (and kick-ass LOVE) a chance. It’s the Divine Feminine, and no matter your gender, it is within you. From here on out, don’t judge it, laugh at it, or abuse it. Engage with it. (Play the song below) Let Go and Feel, All That’s Real.
This song was written around the same time that I wrote this post ~ 2006. At the time, I was in Hawaii mentoring with Shaman/Mystic/Channel, Robert Shapiro. A music producer I was not, but I figured out and captured it in the software (Garageband) that came with my Apple laptop.
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