Loving My Conundrums

Ever since my return to the islands I have been working on my book. I have to say that present-moment consciousness doesn’t always lend itself to word translation, so I find myself slipping into frustration and doubt about whether it is even possible to tell my story in book form. The conundrum is that I find myself talking up, down, and all around the “knowing state” that I am trying to describe. That is because the “knowing state” is completely indescribable. It seems that one must experience it directly first before one can recognize or resonate with a word explanation.

This morning I applied the tools in which I’ve been given to break through my stuck feelings (feelings aloud approach) and had a most profound new understanding. This new understanding came in an ecstatic connection (communion) with Universal Wisdom (otherwise known as ‘God’).

Whenever I feel stuck, sooner or later I realize that I’m trying to solve something with my mind, with the more limited approach that I have known from the past. In my ongoing practice and discipline of speaking my feelings out loud in present moment consciousness, I have been able to demonstrate healing and epiphanies just by asking to be shown the truth of the situation right now. In other words, to be shown a greater way to view the existing circumstances that I have interpreted as unyielding or stuck. I literally talk myself into Love, where all is in balance and wholeness. It is here that I am informed by LOVE. Love rarely uses words. In this place of Love I am completely enveloped in a powerful magnetic field, and in the session this morning I was shown in feeling and vision that the translated words used to describe the message from these states are primarily a “food for the mind” – to help ease the mind’s incessant search for an “answer”, or at least to reach a resting place before the next big conundrum hits. I had an understanding here that there will always be conundrums as we bridge from the fragmented state to wholeness, and that learning to approach a conundrum with as much respect as a breakthrough or resolution is the key.

I realized from this experience that I have been judging myself for not successfully explaining this Big Love in words. I was only seeing it one way – the way that most of us are conditioned to see it in the world – from a fragmented state. The more expanded view is that I am being encouraged to develop my work in the world by utilizing the language of Love – which for me is feeling/visioning/knowing. Now the mind will immediately disregard this new language, as there is little to no framing for it in the world – except through the arts when it is utilized as a medium of healing and transformation. My job is to acknowledge the mind’s concerns and ask for a suspension of judgment while I “allow” a new form of sharing, or model, to unfold in my life. I was shown that I have already been doing it with my music and with my avant-garde approach to feeling/healing sessions with myself and others. And then I was shown another way as well, which I will practice and report on in the future perhaps.

I am encouraged and inspired now to demonstrate the “knowing state” in present moment forms, rather than demanding that it only be reduced to “comfort food” for the mind. I will still continue on with my book, but will be more understanding of myself now when the conundrums with language arise. My work in this world is to be a translator, as well as to offer “comfort food” for the heart – for the purpose of inspiring, healing and encouraging others along their path to reclaim their natural, knowing state; to own the God Frequency with feet firmly on the ground.

My other blog has more of the background about the blessings (and conundrums) that have occurred as a result of this frequency coming to me, and it really did feel like I was being forced to transform, over and over again throughout my life. I can see now that my lifelong “job” has been to turn towards it, embrace it, and own it; to be in the world but not of it. One of my epiphanies was that all of this wisdom came to me without the luxury of word explanations. So why am I trying to squeeze it all into words? Believe me, I’ve been chewing on this for quite some time! My inspiration now is to pass these gifts of insight and knowing on to those who find themselves in stuck places and conundrums too, and to help them break through to the feeling memory of freedom; the feeling memory of Love; the feeling memory of who we really are.

And wouldn’t you know it, as I wrote those last words I realized that I could share one of my song sketches from last year – written to honor “The One You Really Are”. I was sad that it didn’t make the cut for this recent album as I could only record 10 songs. Plus this one had more of a jazzy feel – not really the theme for this latest body of work.

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May you always be patient with yourself as you learn to welcome the one you really are… and love all of your conundrums too!

7 thoughts on “Loving My Conundrums

  1. Defining the undefinable is not an easy task for any language spoken by humans. Still you have made a good start here. I feel that the world of natural spirit and the overall being whom we all are a portion of would approve of your efforts in this definition – and your music goes a long way towards revealing these difficult to define meanings as well. Goodlife.

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  2. Oh, I love this song Eileen…so very much!And your words….May you always be patient with yourself as you learn to welcome the one you really are!Just wonderful!Love this post!Thanks Eileen!Margie:)

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