Your God

Talking to your god
Was like talking to a
Thick gray wall…
But I was game.
One day I got up really close
And dared to speak out
In my blasphemous prose.
I spoke to that ‘something’
That supposedly lived
On the other side
Of what is known –
‘Something’ other than me,
‘Something’ other than
Anything,
That I could ever hold close.

Now what happened next
May have seemed
Like bowing and worshiping,
In good and pious faith,
But I can assure you
That my falling to the floor
Was certainly not
A sanctimonious thing.
It was more that my knees
Finally buckled
From the weight of the lie,
Having to deny that I’d known you before.
I knew you in that other world,
The one that felt so good,
That ‘otherworld’ called childhood.
They say that children are
The pretending ones,
But sadly,
It’s the grown ups
Who are lost in the fantasy
That we are other than Greatness,
Other than Love.

I have to say,
The best move I ever made
Was to get up as close to that wall
As I possibly could.
How was I to know that
The sound of my crying,
Flying rage
Would force that honesty
Back in my face?
Straight into my heart it went
Pelting my chest
And cracking the cold case
Of a senseless death
In time and space.
With the smell of gunpowder
Still in the air,
I came to,
Making the tiniest of sounds
I became the thunder
That drowned out all definition of me.
How was I to know I’d have to
Come to terms with the in-between
Of a poet’s words –
Knowing you,
Claiming you,
In hands and feet?

Yet the sweetness of what
Was supposed to be you
Did swirl inside of me,
Where the ‘you and I’ conceived
And gave birth
To our second child,
Divinity.

How clever of your god to find entry here
By becoming an audible mirror.
I watched and I was,
A fall into nothingness,
Crumbling to dust
Under the magic wand
Of breath and innocence…

Rising to be the Child
Who will never,
Ever know,
Forgetfulness.

2 thoughts on “Your God

  1. I do appreciate so very much your ability to crack open the pod, lay out the contents for us all to see and to remind us that the beauty – while it is present is also yet to come from the seed of life.Goodlife.

    Like

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