am-bi-tion [Middle English ambicioun, excessive desire for honor, power, or wealth, from Old French ambition, from Latin ambitiō, ambitiōn-, from ambitus, past participle of ambīre, to go around (for votes).] — American Heritage Dictionary
Worldy ambition? I’ve noticed that I don’t seem to have any. Makes it kind of tough in this world. It certainly made things rough for me in the music business. That is, until I woke up one day and decided that dammit, Eileen Meyer sings for the joy of it, not for any expectation of money. That was freeing. It’s taken me a whole year of recovery from the idea that I have to aggressively market my art in order to ‘sing my heart out’. That’s just plain weird. Marketing isn’t my thing really. In fact, whenever I was in a position to reduce my art to a commodity, I completely lost interest. I feel this way about my spiritual work as well, although I do see it as all the same thing. These days I mostly give it away. And then there are those who come along and make “donations”.
“Yeah, that’s all good and fine,” they say, “…but you gotta eat!”
Yeah. I gotta eat. I have to say though that over the last year I’ve never eaten better. But as I have reported here in the past, it was because I asked for Divine help during a particularly rough undercover investigation into all aspects relating to the human condition of “starving artist”. True, the response came in the form of money, but it also came in the form of food, shelter, love, appreciation, opportunity, healing, and respect. The point is, I didn’t directly ask people for money, food and shelter, I asked the ‘God Frequency’ for help in FEELING abundant, content, fulfilled, etc., in my life. And it came. Fascinating study.
I was particularly intrigued by the last phrase of the above word-origin description – “to go around for votes”. I would have to say that I do relate to this in my musical marketing campaigns of the past… “Vote for me! Come to my concert! Sure, you could be out on the town, loud-music dancing and drinking and ultimately getting laid; but hey, during an Eileen Meyer ‘show’ you might actually feel your heart. And yeah, sure, it could also create a movement of feelings that you’ve worked so hard to suppress for so many years, but isn’t it worth it to clear the heart and at least begin to make way to meet your maker? And if you think getting laid is the ultimate, just wait until you meet your maker while in form!“
“Meeting your maker” = death in this world. My developing work is about guiding people to meet their Maker while still in form. And yes, a certain death of an image or images is very much involved in the process. The phrase, “En-train-ment to the Divine”, was given to me in a communion state as a suggestion for describing the indescribable work that I do with frequency in the form of music and spiritual healing work. This was followed up by that unexpected but lovable Spirit humor with, “…and sometimes while doing your work under the guise of ‘performer’ in a night club, “Enter-tain-ment to the Divine” is also a worthy description! (You know… for those who were more comfortable being introduced to a divine frequency with cigarette and drink in hand.)
Back to my non-ambitious work. When someone new is introduced to me, I always get that question. I’m sure you are familiar with it… “So you are Eileen? What do you do, Eileen?”
“Ur… um… well…”
or, “So you are Eileen? I hear you are a singer.”
“Well, yes, there’s that and…”
At this point I’m literally sending out my feelers to size up just how much time and available attention span I actually have from this person to cover ALL of what I do. Most people when asking this question are really seeking the answer to this, “Who pays you to do what?” It is this information that helps the questioner feel a certain level of comfort and safety in the categorization of this new and unknown human being in their midst. While there are the occasional few who do not require words and titles in order to feel comfortable with meeting a new person, more often than not I leave people feeling somewhat uncomfortable because I don’t have the extra time and energy anymore to help them feel safe with known definitions in the midst of the vast unknown that lies beyond image. What comes to my mind here is all of those years throughout my life that I was suddenly and unexpectedly introduced to ‘non-humans’. Some call them ‘aliens’. I can assure you, they had no business cards, no titles, no company names. My initial response was, “Holy Shit! How do I categorize this!!!???” Others who have experienced this phenomenon will need no further ‘word’ explanation in order to relate to what I am saying – a nod and a wink does just fine. Uncomfortable with not having a convenient category? Welcome to my world. Welcome to my training to do the transformational work that I do.
Whenever I feel a certain level of ambition (indeed it still comes ’round), I have spent literally hours upon hours on Vistaprint.com trying to design and sum up on a business card what exactly it is that I do. I’m chuckling now as I write this because it truly is a comedy to witness. Understand now that I have no need to categorize my own work to myself. For God’s sake, I know what I do! This is strictly my dedicated efforts to help others expand their people and job description categories.
Human Investigator into the Divine (Reports available upon request)
Let’s see… why would anyone require my services? Criminal investigation is a more sought after service in this world, but Divine Investigation? Not much interest so far – at least not for the blatantly non-religious category of divine investigators. After all, what are my credentials? Do I have references? Yes. But funny thing is, a lot of people don’t even know that I’m working for them. There’s not much notoriety and fame with what I do, that’s for sure, but I do have to say, I deeply love the work.
As you can see, there wasn’t enough room to finish my titles, let alone my contact information. Just FYI, the rest is… Food Lover (with a specialty in pastry), Breather, Laugher, Knower, etc.
A few weeks ago in an altered knowing state I heard, “You have all been humans – reaching to and communing with your divinity in a variety of human ways. It is time now in your evolution of consciousness to be Divine, where each of you will reach to and commune with humanity… in a variety of divine ways.”
Now I’ll vote for that!
Divine Investigator and Communion-ator to Humanity (Reports available upon request)
Ah hell. When we’re all voting for our own divinity to lead us through this human experience, and when we are divinely communing with each other, we certainly won’t need cards (sorry Vistaprint).